Am I the only one who likes clowns?

When I was expecting our first child and shopping for nursery themes, I knew I wanted white embroidered eyelet and I wanted to use bright primary colors, red, blue, yellow and green, too (yes, I know green isn't primary, but it is a good compliment to the others). The only nursery theme I found that met the requisite primary colors was a juggling clown. I had always associated clowns with cheery fun, lightheartness, and playful. Years later, I find out all my sisters think them scary and sinister, my kids, too. I'm guessing DaughterS won't be asking to use her own cribset should the day ever come. Anyway...

Last weekend SisterG told a clown joke that even made me laugh.

A little boy and a clown carrying a chainsaw walk into the woods. The little boy looks around and says to the clown, "Man, these woods are really creepy!" The clown replies, "Tell me about it, I have to walk out of here alone!"

Roadtrip to Mt Baker

Valentine's Day weekend: rest, relaxation, fireplace and steam shower, and a sightseeing day trip. All without leaving the county.

We ran away for the weekend. Ran all the way to Lynden.

Stop laughing!

The kids got the biggest belly laugh when we bought into a timeshare whose flagship resort is in Lynden, where DearHusband works. The literature for the timeshare touts how close it is to the beach, only a short half hour trip to Birch Bay! They still think that's funny as all get out! Buy a timeshare for the city you work in so you can visit to bay you live on.

Okay, maybe it is funny.

We enjoyed Friday and Saturday nights away from the house. While DearHusband worked Saturday, I enjoyed a Valentine's Day of Pampering including a massage and a facial.

Sunday dawned bright and sunny. We left Lynden to take a Sunday afternoon drive and look for eagles. All told, we saw 8 eagles, including 4 in one tree with a nest. We saw one on the ground in a field not far from the road. We saw other nests, one with a eaglet visible.

We eventually ended up on Highway 9, winding our way slowly southward till we came to a crossroad. We headed east and ended up at the ski area at the top of Mount Baker. It was a beautiful drive. A leisurely drive in the sunshine, listening to good music and enjoying each other's company.

We decided to head to the mountain, when we realized that even though we've lived in the county for 22 years, we've never driven up to the mountain. Here's a couple of shots I snapped on my cellphone.

A little bit of snow along the highway up on Mt Baker

The Magic of a Full Moon

Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny, crisp and clear. The high wispy clouds moved in during the afternoon and it seemed most cloudy. I'd heard they are predicting snow Monday night and judging from the snap in the air, they might be right.

Last night DearHusband and I enjoyed our hot tub for the first time in months. After dashing to the hot tub in the cold crisp air and getting settled in and relaxing, I glanced up and the full moon was spectacular. I've seen pictures of the moon ringed by clouds but had never before seen it live and in person, so to speak. Bright enough to read by, in sharp focus, a large circle of clear sky ringed by cloudy sky. It looked like the moon had burned a perfect circle of clear sky edged in clouds. A lunar corona.

The neighborhood was quiet, and kids were away, the moon was bright and we were cocooned in steam. We always ask ourselves, why did we go so long without using our spa?

A Day of Note and It's A Small World After All

Happy Anniversary to me! Today marked my eighth anniversary of being a branch office administrator for a national investment brokerage (my how time flies when you are having fun). That makes this the absolutely longest position I’ve ever held other than Wife (24-½ years) and Mother (22 years) .

Today is also the day I can officially hang up my chauffeur’s cap, as our youngest is now a fully licensed driver! Woo Hoo! I now get to replace running here and there to just worrying while he goes here and there! Life is a trade-off.

Another good note on the day….

Tonight, SonMySon dropped me off at the local coffee shop on his way to Tae Kwon Do (as opposed to the usual: me dropping him off and then going to the coffee shop to be comfortable while his daily class was in session). As I made my way to the comfortable leather couch in front of the fireplace at the coffee shop, I spied the same two ladies that I’ve seen the previous two Thursday evenings. We exchanged smiles as the pretty lady with the dark hair teasingly remarked that I was late! While waiting for my hot cocoa to arrive, I had my ‘puter on the fireplace hearth to the side of me, making it visible to others, when this same lady delightedly remarked that she recognized the header on the blog page I was reading: Works For Me Wednesday(www.rocksinmydryer.typepad.com). And she challenged me to find her post. As it turns out, I’ve been reading her blog, http://www.adventuresindailyliving.blogspot.com/

for several months now! It was hard to tell who was most pleased, she to find out she has a regular reader, or me to meet a famous blogger! I never would have imagined that one of the writers I enjoy lives in my little corner of the world!

A funny note tonight…

This is what happens when you fall asleep sitting up with your dinner plate on your lap. Do you think 2 PE classes, an hour and a half at Tae Kwon Do working out in anticipation of taking his Instructor’s Belt Test tomorrow night, a full day of school and the stress of taking his driver’s test might have taken a toll today? He didn’t even wake up when Brindle walked all over him, butted him in the face trying to wake him and finally settled on finishing his dinner for him. Sweet dreams, SonMySon.

New Year's Day

Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.~Martin Luther


A happy New Year! Grant that I
May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.~Edgar Guest


Another fresh New Year is here...
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

This bright new year is given me
To live each day with zest...
To daily grow and try to be
My highest and my best!

I have the opportunity
Once more to right some wrongs,
To pray for peace, to plant a tree,
And sing more joyful songs! ~ William Arthur Ward

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A new year, a new beginning.

A fresh start is supposed to begin January 1. I am finding the new start began the day my mama left us to continue her eternal journey. Just as life is measured mile markers such as “when I was in school”, “before I was married”, “before we had kids”, I am now finding time measured as “it was the week before Mama died’ or “in the six weeks since Mama died”.

We gathered together last night, resolutely determined to keep our bonds of family, to honor Mama’s memory by continuing our traditions. Determined to stay united as friends and we enjoyed each other’s company, shared some laughs, and a few teary moments. Some us came out ahead after a couple of hours of poker, some of us found their pockets lightened of their $5 buy in!

I reveled in the noise and the confusion of having a house full of 18 people, Mama would have loved it. All the activity, all the conversations. Seeing the cousins interact with each other, as well as the sibling dynamics, too.

We sorely missed those not with us, by will or circumstance. We welcomed a new girlfriend into the mix, a sure sign that my youngest has seen the last year of childhood, as he enters the last years of his teenager status. Our family mix is changing, ever growing. We no longer have babes in arms or toddlers under foot. The youngest is in school fulltime and the oldest has graduated college.

One thing I know for sure, this well be a year a change, many ways unwilling change. In other aspects, conscious change as we all cope with the loss of our Mother, learn how to help our Father navigate the waters of “going on”. I hope we will all find our ways, support each other when we stumble, continue to grow and learn and knit closer to each other. Please, let not inertia and the daily routine let us drift apart.

My Heart Hurts

Picture taken late December 2007 at our annual Girls Night Out


My heart hurts.

I have lost my best girlfriend, my closest and most trusted confidant, my mentor and greatest cheerleader, my Mama.

It was three weeks yesterday and yet I am still undone by overwhelming bouts of grief that overtake me like I’ve been punched in the stomach. It knocks the wind out of me when once again the realization that I will never again talk with her hits me. It is different from the absolute panic I felt as she weakened and I feared we were losing her. It hurts even more than I thought possible, and I feel more lonely than I ever have.

Several times each and every day I think of something I want to tell her, a little snippet of my day, maybe something that struck me as funny, to share a small victory for one of my children, or when I need a sympathetic ear or a bit of a pep talk. Next to my husband, she was the first person I wanted to share good news with and the best person to share bad news with as she always had the time, the unconditional love and the ability to make me feel better, just be being there.

Mama, I miss you so very much! If you are watching from heaven, know that I am trying to be strong, trying to carry on like you would have done, like I know you want me to, but it is so very hard.

My umbilical cord may have been cut, seperating us forty six years ago but I miss your touch, the thrill of what I call the cellular recognition I experienced when we held each other, the knowing I felt this body also is mine, or more truly, I was of you and will always be. I have lost a third of me, the part that was before, it has been cleaved by death. As long as I draw breath I will always have the now, as that is me. I pray to God I never lose what has become, my children. With the promise of tomorrow, I look foward to what will be. The day when I hold my grandbabies in my arms and I will recognize them both in my heart and in the cells of my being. I remember Mama telling me as she held my newborn daughter, her firstborn grandbaby that as she held her, she knew the baby was also hers, she could feel it. Another bond between mother and child, a grandchild. Please God, grant me this also before I go.

So, now I will once again, set aside my grief for a respite that keeps me sane and functioning, and will start my day. To welcome the Christmas season and keep the true meaning of it foremost in my mind. I know Mama would be telling me that life goes on and I must live it, so I will, with God's help and that of my family. Thank you, God, for giving me the large and loving family I will wrap about myself and draw strength from to carry on. May I also be a source of strength for them, too.

8/28/2008: My Baby Girl is 240 months old today...

DaughterA @ 18 months

7:30am:

This morning, I want to wish a very Happy 20th Birthday to our Baby-Girl. Although, she will not officially arrive at the 2 decade mark till 9:48pm, she maintains that we celebrate birth-days, not birth-minutes so we will start the celebration early!

Even at birth she was eager and ready to go! A fast delivery, after labor of only three and a half hours, she burst into our lives with energy and an eagerness for life! A tiny bundlle of live-wire with the most beautifully shaped mouth and a smile that still lights up a room!

10:55pm:

Today, she is a beautiful, thoughtful and loving young woman. I am in awe of the tiny babe, I once held in my arms, has grown into such an amazing person. She works full-time in a lead position of the photo department for a major chain store while carrying a full credit load at college. And yet, she still finds time for family and friends and to pursue her love of photography.

And boy, does she ever adores babies! And it's mutual, she draws children to her like a magnet! She will be a wonderful mother when the times comes to marry and start a family!

That thought gives me goosebumps, thinking about how it will feel when I see her as I can still see myself, if I but close my eyes. Closing my eyes, I can still see her infant smile looking up at me while in my arms, and if I concentrate I swear I can feel the weight of her little head against my breast and smell the sweetest little soft spot on top of her head. It comes back so quickly and so powerfully it brings tears to my eyes.

Today is one of the three special days that I thank God for giving me the precious Gift of life!

Tonight, as I watched our family interact with each other while dining out, celebrating, laughing and sharing our day with each other, I am most aware that it is a Gift that still continues on. I am aware this Gift of life expands ever onward into my future, unfolding in new and unexpected ways as I see my children grow into adulthood.

What a blessing!!! Thank you, Lord for this day and for all you have given me.

DaughterA @ 240 months ( minus 2.5 hours)